Birth-love-sisterhood-support

Last night we (meaning myself and the wonderful women I am privileged to have as friends) held a Blessing Way for Earthy Birthy Mama, who is having a baby boy in mid-August, if she holds out that long. Her husband has started a major home improvement project and has to go out of town this weekend for work, so we're thinking we can expect a call from her either today or tomorrow telling us that the baby is on his way.

Anyway, for those of you who don't know what a Blessing Way is...

A Blessingway is a wonderful ritual for the mother-to-be. It celebrates her step in motherhood (or motherhood again!) Baby showers are a lot of fun and they are a wonderful way to gift new parents things they need for the baby. A blessingway, however, is a unique way to honor the mother.

During the gathering, friends of the mother come together to give her support and encouragement as she waits for labor to begin. It is a wonderful and affirming time for her.

Oftentimes the friends at the ceremony agree that as soon as they receive word labor has begun they will say a prayer and light a candle for the mother. This support can mean so much to a laboring woman.

Many believe that the blessingway tradition was begun by Native Americans. It was a ritual to offer blessing at many life passages, not just pregnancy. But it is commonly thought to be the origin of the pregnancy blessingway.

A blessingway is usually a spiritual event on some level. It can purposely hold elements sacred to the mother's religion or it can simply be spiritual in the sense that all present are giving their spiritual and emotional support to the mother-in-waiting.

Our Blessing Ways aren't particularly ceremonial in any way. We don't do any chanting, we don't make the mom-to-be a wreath of flowers to wear, we don't do belly-casting or painting, we don't wash her feet. Instead, we try to pick a night near the mother's due date when the majority of us can gather together and we honor her in our own way...by drinking wine in front of her, stuffing our faces with yummy treats and talking shit about our husbands. However, we also give the mom-to-be a gift of some kind and everyone presents a bead to be strung together to make a birthing bracelet...something the mother can focus on during labor, drawing energy from each friend represented by a bead. I still have mine from the Blessing Way my friends held when I was pregnant with Little M. It really did help me to focus during labor and it's something I will always cherish. We were all already moms when we starting hanging out together, so we'd all already done the standard baby shower thing. When our subsequent pregnancies happened, we didn't really need much in the way of baby supplies, but we did need to know that our friends were there to support us before, during and after the arrival of our babies. A Blessing Way seemed like the great way to show that support. And we do pledge to the mother that when we receive word that she's in labor, we'll light a candle and think positive, peaceful thoughts for her until we hear that her baby is safely in her arms and at her breast. So it really is a warm-fuzzy occasion for us.

Last night was a good turn-out with many laughs, good food and only a couple bottles of wine. I got creative and decorated the cupcakes...


I should have taken the picture before anyone ate them. There was also a peace sign, a smiley face and a couple of "boy" symbols. The one in the upper left corner is supposed to be a pregnant belly with a heart inside, but it looks like a 3 or a B instead. Oh well.

Here's a picture of her beads...


That's going to be one unique bracelet, no? (Do you see your bead, Jill? It got lots of compliments. Way to represent!)

As a gift, we gave her a new Magic Sling, hand-crafted by another mama-friend who was unable to attend. You can't see it very well in the picture, but it has the cutest striped pocket on it and it's a lovely shade of baby-blue. We also gave her the book Forever Young, which has the lyrics to the Bob Dylan song illustrated with some beautiful pictures. He wrote that song for his son, Jakob, so it seemed fitting to present it to EBM for her son. Not to mention we're all Dylan fans, which made it more special. We all wrote some sappy words for her and her baby inside the front cover.


(That's one of her mom's maternity tops she's wearing. Cool, huh?)

But, like I said, the main purpose of a Blessing Way is the support garnered from the mother's friends...


Earth Muffin, Earthy Birthy Mama, Aunt Katie


Baker, Marshmallow Bunny and Mrs. Granola laying their hands on EBM's belly, hoping for a peaceful birth experience. (Too bad Mr. EM's Frank Zappa poster is looming over them in the background. Looks a little ominous, but maybe that's just me.)

All in all it was a wonderful evening and I hope that EBM left feeling loved and supported by her friends. I look forward to that phone call that says, "Light a candle, I'm in labor!", but more than that, I look forward to meeting that new baby boy, holding him close and telling him what a lucky guy he is to have such a loving mama.